the
art of being female
december,
2005 : january, 2006
Re-imagining, re-claiming & living the wonder of being female
"There is no time left for anything but to make peacework a dimension of our every waking activity." ~Elise Boulding
Greetings!
Happy New Year! This issue is our December/January issue...a bridge between these two powerful months of change and transition.
Peace is the message of this month's newsletter...Peace in the heart, peace in the soul, peace in the world and in the world's soul.
As you make your transition from one year to the next, consider how you might make peace with yourself so that you have more energy to give to the places you truly want to nourish and blossom in the coming year.
New this month: You will find this issue of The Art of Being Female (and all past issues) on our website. Check out past issues you didn't get a chance to fully digest or let those you know who might enjoy them that they can find The Art of Being Female online.
I wish you Peace. I wish us all Peace. And I wish Peace for the world's soul.
Blessings and Peace,
Julie
please pass this on to any Wildly Creative Women (and Men) who might enjoy it by clicking on the link at the bottom of the page.
©2006 Julie Daley, Creative Wellspring. All rights reserved;
for permission to reprint any part of this ezine, apply to julie@wildlycreativewomen.com
In this Issue:
wild
Self-expression:
Kay Griffith, Photographer
"Nothing can bring you peace but yourself." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
If you want to make peace, you don't talk to your friends. You talk to your enemies.~Moshe Dayan
W hat happens in our outer world is a direct reflection of what is happening within us, in our inner world. When we are not at peace within, there is no peace in the world. When we treat ourselves violently, there is violence in the world. If we truly desire peace, we must make peace in our own hearts, in our own inner life. If we can no longer stand the violence in the world, we must stop using violent language and behavior against our own selves.
Moyshe Dayan believed that peace begins with talking to your enemies. What does it mean to talk to your inner demons? Who are they? What are they telling you? What violent language do they use against you? How do they torment you, torture you and abuse you? How do they keep you fearful of your own magnificence and doubtful of your ability to be at peace in the midst of chaos? What would it mean to make peace with them?
These are all powerful questions for finding your own way to be create a lasting peace in your own heart. In this newsletter you will find a new article on making peace in your own heart and a play-with practice for beginning your own inner peace-making journey.
We will be one step closer to peace in our world with each human soul that makes peace in their own heart. As you find peace in your own heart, you once again see the beauty of life inherent in the world around you and your own soul awakens to its true nature. As your soul awakens, so does the soul of the world for you are directly connected to it. And as your soul heals, so does the soul of the world.
Be peace within and peace will manifest without.
“Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.” ~unknown
It is the end of another year here on Earth and the end of another year of your life.
2005 has come to an end. With the ending of each year, we have cultural traditions of reviewing the year that is over and making resolutions for the year to come. While this time of year is a wonderful time to envision what you want to create in the year to come, if we don’t make conscious choices that come from our own authentic voice, we can fall prey to the Voice of Judgment’s own tradition of creating another year’s experience of setting too high of goals and feeling once again that we simply are not and can’t ever be enough.
Two weeks ago, one of my teachers shared a story with us about ways in which we attempt to be other than what we are. Her young son was watching her get ready to come teach our dance class. As she prepared herself by showering, applying her various products, and putting on her jewelry, he innocently asked her something akin to how many ‘perfectors’ do you need to teach? Why don’t you just go teach?
She told the story in preparation for asking us to really look at how we might use the time of the end of the year to do something different. Instead of the usual year-end review and New Year’s resolutions, she suggested creating something that encouraged us to see ourselves as already whole and already enough.
The usual year-end review and resolution setting, when done consciously with curiosity and a suspended Voice of Judgment, can be a process of visioning what your heart and soul are truly yearning for, and then setting achievable clear goals that recognize your humanness.
But, if we instead are at war inside with our own sense of worth, this process can be just another opportunity to pull out the whip and once again punish ourselves for not being enough, and in the backlash of that, setting unrealistic resolutions for a perfection that we can’t reach or accomplish.
This process can create a feeling of helplessness because we can’t ever reach this perfection, a place always just outside our reach because it doesn’t exist. There is no place of perfection. Humans can’t be perfect, only human. It is in our humanness that our true loveliness shows through.
The struggle to reach perfection creates a slow death of the soul. The struggle to be what we aren’t creates a war inside of us, a battle where the Voice of Judgment keeps trying to vanquish all of our “bad” parts so that we will only consist of all that is “good”.
If we are peaceful, if we are happy, we can smile and blossom like a flower, and everyone in our family, our entire society, will benefit from our peace. ~Thich Nhat Hanh
What do we find when we lay down our arms within and end the war inside? Peace. We find a peaceful heart and a feel a peace-filled quiet that hasn’t been there for a long time. Within this peace, the soul who has been unable to be heard over the harshness of the internal war can finally make itself known again. It is a tender moment of humility and grace when we come face to face again with who we once knew ourselves as.
I had an incredible experience a few weeks ago that can help explain this recognition or re-knowing. I decided to give my parents and sisters a special gift for Christmas. I decided to take the 1200 feet of 8 mm family movies my mother had given me and have them transferred to DVD. When I got the DVD back, I popped it into my computer to watch. I clicked on chapter 14, a movie of the time when our family had just moved from Michigan to California when I was not quite one year old.
As I watched, I first saw my older sister Molly walking out the front door of our house in Palo Alto. She was a little over three and so adorable. Next, my father followed out of the front door carrying me in his arms. I had a bottle in my hands and lots of curly hair. As my father walked us towards the camera, my little eyes were staring right into the camera held by my mother. It was at this point that something very strange happened.read more
This month we have our first wildly creative expression!
Kay Griffith is a photographer extraordinaire! She is a wonderfully strong woman who has found her connection with all that is through her love of photography. In offering to show her work here, she is the first of our community to do so! I so appreciate her belief in what Wildly Creative Women stands for and in our mission to "re-imagine, re-claim & live the wonder of being female".
On another note, Kay is my aunt. I have always looked up to her for her strength and wisdom and her amazing capacity to be the strong bond and glue in her family. She is a talented nature photographer and a powerful force of nature herself.
Here are her a few of her favorite pictures!
Visit the larger exhibit online at Wildly Creative Women's community expression page!
I hope you will take me up on my invitation to share your wild Self-expression with other Wildly Creative Women. Somewhere there is someone who is needing exactly that which you feel compelled to express!
I look forward to experiencing many wonderful creative expressions in 2006!
"The first peace, which is the most important, is that which comes within the souls of people when they realize their relationship, their oneness with the universe and all its powers, and when they realize that at the center of the universe dwells the Great Spirit, and that this center is really everywhere, it is within each of us. ~Black Elk (1863-1950)
Oneness. What is oneness? What does it mean to truly be one with everything that exits? How do we achieve oneness? Well, the good news is...we are already one. It isn't something we have to get to or another piece of work we have to do. We are one. We aren't just connected, we are one with everything. This realization can be just another intellectual idea that we conceptualize and say we understand, but the true understanding comes from our own experience of oneness.
The theme of next month's newsletter will be oneness. In the meantime, though, I heartily recommend the movie, "One". It is truly a work of wild creativity. Ward Powers, a Detroit trial attorney, awoke one morning with the idea to make a movie about Oneness, with the title, "One: A Contemporary Journey Towards a Timeless Destiny."
Powers had no experience as a movie maker, but he was so called to make the movie, that not only did he just dive in, but all sorts of amazing things happened to bring the people to his project that he needed just when he needed them. Check out more about the movie at http://www.onethemovie.org.
In the meantime, begin to notice your own personal experiences of oneness. We'll see what pops up in our next newsletter.
Our
community is growing!
Please pass this newsletter on to any women or men you think might enjoy or
benefit from receiving it by clicking on the link
at the bottom of the page. Thank you!
"You become that which you long to be, by being fully who you already are.” ~Julie M Daley
I have openings for new clients in my coaching practice. In deciding to expand my practice, I have given great thought as to who would most benefit from my services.
Coaching is about the relationship between the client and coach. It is through the power of the relationship that real transformation happens for my clients. As my experience as a coach deepens, I am noticing where my passion lies: coaching women and men who are yearning to know who they really are, deep in the heart and down in the belly, and to use this new awareness to follow their soul's lead into the most far-reaching corners of the visions they are tenderly holding.
To step out boldly into your vision means you must till the soil of your own being. To take hold, these tender new shoots of possibility must get the Light and sustenance they need for sustained growth. When the soul feels honored and nurtured, and finds its home in the body to be a welcoming, sacred place, it becomes receptive to the great creative Spirit, the Spirit necessary to co-create your vision.
As human beings, we know when we hear our call, the call of the Soul. I was in the grocery store today and a very kind young woman waited on me. We exchanged pleasantries about the New Year. She then looked at me with a quizzical look and said, "I know that this year is going to be different. I look around me out there in the world and I don't see anyone else doing what needs to be done. I know it is up to me. I feel this calling inside that I can't ignore anymore."
I then looked her in the eye and responded, "Listen to that calling. It isn't going to be reflected in the world out there. It must come from within. What you are feeling inside wants to be born into the world through you. It is yours to give to the world."
She looked at me for a moment and then big alligator tears formed in her eyes. She said, "You see it in me, don't you? You see the desire in me to express what is inside. I can't tell you how much I needed to hear this, to have you acknowledge what I am feeling."
You see, coaching is about having someone see you, really see you deep down in a way that others might not. Coaching is about having someone so believe in you and what you are capable of, that you no longer choose from that voice of fear and doubt; instead, you allow yourself to unwrap those tender buds of belief and hope, joy and possibility and gently plant them within the rich and fertile soil of your heart, and fuel them passionately with the fire burning deep down in your belly.
With time and experience, I have planted my own tender shoots of belief and possibility for my coaching practice, and now am harvesting my own wild succulent invitation to you. If you are hearing a call, heed it. If you want to make your body a nurturing haven for your soul, call me. If you are wanting to intertwine your own spirituality into your personal and professional life, I am wanting you for a client.
I am looking for new clients who are feeling the call to coach with me. Call me to find out more and to schedule a complimentary coaching session - 510.644.9442.
Each month a new play-with is offered as an addition to your practice of the art of being female.
Playing-with your experience is the basis of the "creative cycle of self-discovery" used in Wildly Creative Women's coaching and courses.
Play-with for January:
Make Peace in Your Heart
There is an old story about the war inside each of our own beings called "The Two Wolves". I am not sure of the exact original source, but it comes from the Native American tradition. If you know more about the source, please let me know so I can correctly attribute it in a future newsletter.
The Two Wolves
An old Cherokee was teaching his grandchildren about life. He said, “A
battle is raging inside me…it is a terrible fight between two wolves.
One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego. The other stands for joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”
The
old man looked at the children with a firm stare.
“This
same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person, too.”
They
thought about it for a minute, and then one child asked his grandfather,
“Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee replied: “The one you feed.”
While this story contains a universal message, the truth it uncovers in you is as unique as you are. And how you use it with this month's practice will be just as unique. Keep that in mind as you practice the following ideas.
This story represents the war in each of us between our Voice of Judgment (ego) and our authentic Essential Nature or soul Essence. In each moment of choice, we have the free will opportunity to choose which voice (wolf) we will listen to. This choice is one we must make all through our lives, for our Voice of Judgment never goes away. What we can learn is to develop our Light of Awareness so that we clearly "know" (from deep inside) which voice is speaking and then choose accordingly.
It is when we make ourselves wrong for having this battle to begin with, that we truly fuel this inner war. The secret is not to hate that part of ourselves that is the inner demon or Voice of Judgment. That part of us was born from wanting to be loved and safe, to try to bridge the illusion of separation.
Making peace means embracing our human nature while at the same time choosing to live from our Essence. We acknowledge the scared wolf that is our VOJ and at the same time feed our Essence wolf.
1.
Meditate
The most
important part of this practice is meditation to calm the heart and shine
your Light on your Essence.
If you don't already meditate, I suggest you begin a daily practice. Start out each day with a morning sit, even if it is only for 5 minutes. You will find, as I have that putting yourself down on the cushion (or whatever you use) is the hardest part...the VOJ doesn't go quietly! In all honesty, this is the hardest part for me. My mind starts first thing in the morning...it doesn't usually give me even a moment of "sleepy fog" time...it likes to hit the ground running.
Find your own way to meditate. There are many possibilities!
2.
Begin to notice your own two wolves...your Essence and your VOJ.
What do they say to you? Keep a journal or some means of recording
so you begin to notice the habitual responses of your VOJ and the different
feeling each one has in your experience.
The feeling part is important! What we want to cultivate here is the ability to awaken your own senses so that you can be consciously aware of your habitual patterns and begin to choose differently. Your experience will have an entirely different feel to it when one wolf is being fed versus the other.
3.
Practice putting your awareness in your own heart.
Many times, when things get tough, we literally have all our energy in our
head or even outside of our bodies. By putting your awareness in your heart,
you begin to settle back down to your physical experience. If it feels difficult
to do, put your awareness in your feet first, bending your knees a bit to
ground you.
When you have your awareness in your heart, notice what is there. Is there peace? Is the war raging? Which wolf is being fed?
What are your peace-filled times? What are your war-zone times?
4.
Acknowledge your own Goodness.
Accept yourself as you are in all your humanness and acknowledge
your own inherent goodness. You are not bad or flawed in some way because
you are human, but that it is the gift of being fully human, in all its messiness,
that triggers these feelings of unworthiness.
5.
Thank yourself.
Thank that part of yourself that learned to cope with all of life's ups and
downs by resorting to feelings of fear, guilt, shame, anger, envy, self-judgment.
It isn't bad...it was simply resourceful at a time when you were too young
to know better. Embrace all of you. See yourself as whole, no longer splintered
in the center by war. Notice what happens in your body as
you envision your own natural wholeness. Fully feel what is there.
If the battle still rages, ask for guidance from within. Listen well because it is always there.
5.
Take responsibility for your own war.
Know that this is your war and that you have the tools to make your own peace.
6.
Invite Peace into your life and into your heart.
Choose to support, listen to and live from your own soul Essence.
When your soul is awakened, Spirit is available to enter and aliven you.
7.
Be Peace.
Let peace permeate your own being. Be peaceful. Be peace-filled. See yourself
as whole again. Choosing to be peace is taking action on your own behalf.
Know that there is NOTHING YOU HAVE TO DO, not even this practice! ;-) There is no one you HAVE to take care of, nothing you HAVE to fix, nothing that MUST get done, no expectation you HAVE to live up to, no wrong you HAVE to right, nothing you HAVE to do better, no outer image you HAVE to somehow match. Let yourself off the hook.
8.
When you choose to act, act from the Peace within you.
Choose your words and actions, both inside and out, from the Peace within
you. When you aren't feeling Peace, notice what is driving you...what is the
emotion you are feeling? If it is a negative emotion, can it be expressed
in such a way that you don't increase your own battle or those battles it
might be causing with others?
9.
Find your Peace in Nature.
As you might have noticed, our wildly creative photographer Kay Griffith feels
"totally at Peace" when she is shooting pictures in Nature. She
feels as one with the world around her. Spend time in nature and simply notice
the experience of peace that is present there, and within you when you are
connected to it. This experience of peace is always available to you no matter
where you are.
When you are in nature, take a moment to lock in this feeling. Notice where it is within you. Then, when you later feel the war once again inside, tap back into this place of peace within.
10.
Rediscover your own natural playfulness.
Find the playfulness and lightness that come from being calm in your heart.
Remember this feeling? It was your natural way of being when you were very
young, and can once again be your guiding perspective of life.
I would love to hear from you about how your practice went. Remember, the point is to play-with your experience. As a result of your practice, notice how your experience changes. What is different? Journaling and reflecting helps make changes in your experience more apparent.
About
Julie:
Julie
Daley holds a design degree from Stanford University.
A Certified Professional Coach, Julie teaches Creativity in Business, the
famous Stanford Business course in many varieties.
"Julie is remarkable in her ability to uncover the inner layers
of creative forces."
~Nancy Mongan
Check
us out at:wildlycreativewomen.com
Powerful
Personal Coaching and Experiential
Courses
are
available to re-awaken you to your natural power within.
