the
art of being female
november,
2005
Re-imagining, re-claiming & living the wonder of being female
"I feel a very unusual sensation - if it is not indigestion, I think it must be gratitude. ~Benjamin Disraeli
Greetings!
Here we are, with Thanksgiving, one of my favorite holidays, just around the corner.
Gratitude is the message of this month's newsletter, for gratitude flows directly from an open heart, the results of our play-with practice from October. Our gratitude practice this month has a twist...check it out now if you are curious!
Let me take this chance to show my gratitude to you. Thank you for the interest and support you have shown in Wildly Creative Women. I am grateful for the opportunity to share my work and co-create something new with you.
With gratitude,
Julie
ps - please pass this on to any Wildly Creative Women (and Men) who might enjoy it by clicking on the link at the bottom of the page.
November's Issue:
If you think gratitude doesn't have a thing to do with creativity, you're probably not alone. Many believe gratitude is something we have for what has already happened. Gratitude and appreciation almost always is focused on the past.
Many times, we aren't present enough, in the moment, to what we are receiving to be grateful for it as it comes. But even more often, we don't think of, feel, or express gratitude for what is to come in the future. How can we be grateful for what hasn't even happened yet? Who knows how good (or bad) it really might be? I mean, how can we be grateful for something if we don't yet know we are happy it has happened. Sounds sort of like a Zen Koan...confusing and confounding...but it's not.
When you naturally feel and express deep gratitude for all of life and its inherent intelligence and abundance, you are opening your heart and soul to this creative force. You remember you are in the flow of life and touch in again with all that supports you. This flow is there all the time, even when you don't remember. It is a grateful, open heart that re-opens and re-connects you to this creative flow.
When you start with deep true gratitude for what is, you connect your own creative nature to that of everything around you. Acknowledging that there is a deeper intelligence and that it is at work in every moment, invites in the infinite possibilities inherent in each moment.
To look forward with gratitude for what is to be, and yet to come, can require a shift in perspective. For most of us, gratitude is saved for the "good" things that happen to us. We are taught that a good life is only filled with "good" things, so we are grateful only when we perceive we are getting the good. This is a favorite perspective of the VOJ for it smacks of the idea that each of us knows best what should happen in our lives. This notion means we believe we ultimately have more intelligence that the Universe.
When we are grateful up front, our gratitude is a reflection of the faith and trust our deeper nature has in the world's infinite abundance and creative nature. The Universe is creative by nature, and because each of us is a creation of the Universe, we, too, are creative by nature.
It also requires that we allow for equanimity, the ability to be with the apparent ups and downs of life. The world is a wondrous place. Life is intelligent. It is only when the Voice of Judgment tries to exert its control over this intelligence, that worry and anxiety overrun the infinite possibilities of life. By having firm expectations about what you will let in your life, you limit Life's ability to co-create your future with you.
So during this time of giving thanks, allow yourself to have a new relationship with gratitude. Start with your own gratitude practice by trying out this month's play-with, Give Gratitude Forward! Notice how it changes your outlook and how it opens you to the creative flow that is always around you.
Over the next six weeks, there are many holidays to celebrate. This can be a time of great joy and celebration.
Unfortunately, many of us feel pushed to over-do. We spend way too much money, have a to-do list a mile long, have expectations about what it will be like to be with family, and run our bodies into the ground by eating unhealthy foods and not getting enough exercise.
What I have noticed is that our already unbalanced selves become more unbalanced. Masculine attributes of doing and accomplishing increase during these times, because we believe we must fulfill our expectations of the holidays, living up to some ideal perpetuated by the media and our culture. We try to make every minute productive, fitting shopping, cooking, baking, and wrapping into our already busy schedule. Whatever little time we usually give ourselves for replenishing and rejuvenating goes out the window.
Awareness of this tendency and a conscious integration of feminine qualities into our holiday plans (for example connection, receptivity, collaboration, and cooperation to name a few) can help to relieve stress and holiday burnout.
Be aware of the masculine and feminine opposite poles of life. Play with finding a middle road. For example, action vs. contemplation. purchasing vs. creating. feeling the emotions of the holidays vs. staying so busy you don't feel anything, all of these opposites play into our holidays and our lives. Following are a few ideas about how to balance your holiday times.
- Take time
to simply be. Make it a goal to have relaxing, inward time for yourself.
- Set up
time to play with those you love. The masculine quality of action can
be married with the feminine quality of receptivity and connection,
to produce memories that will last much longer than the gifts you buy.
- Collaborate
with family and friends to create a holiday plan. You may be surprised
to find you aren't the only one that wants to keep things simple and
meaningful.
- Allow
yourself to fully receive during the holidays, whether it be gifts,
compliments, help, or love. Meaningful life and experiences come from
a healthy cycle of giving and receiving. It is a flow, and when the
flow is fluid, we experience our own flow as part of the river of life.
- Notice when you are living someone else's expectations about what the holidays are about. Inside, you know what is meaningful for you. Do more of this and less of what is expected and your holidays will be a true celebration of authentic meaning for everyone.
Last month, I invited you to share your own wild Self-expression with other readers here, and at www.wildlycreativewomen.com. I am excited to tell you that one of our own wildly creative women has offered her beautiful photography for next month's newsletter and our web site.
Please consider submitting your own creative expression. Don't worry, it doesn't have to be considered fine art for submission. Creativity isn't about talent, it is about Self-expression and sharing one's authentic Voice.
I look forward to experiencing many wonderful creative expressions in 2006!
I hope you will take me up on my invitation to share your wild Self-expression with other Wildly Creative Women. Somewhere there is someone who is needing exactly that which you feel compelled to express!
Our
community is growing!
Please pass this newsletter on to any women or men you think might enjoy or
benefit from receiving it by clicking on the link
at the bottom of the page. Thank you!
Each month a new play-with is offered as an addition to your practice of the art of being female.
Playing-with your experience is the basis of the "creative cycle of self-discovery" used in Wildly Creative Women's coaching and courses.
Play-with for November:
Give Gratitude Forward!
The unthankful heart... discovers no mercies; but let the thankful heart sweep through the day and, as the magnet finds the iron, so it will find, in every hour, some heavenly blessings! ~Henry Ward Beecher
"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow." ~Melody Beattie
Both of these quotes speak to something not mentioned often: that gratitude for what is to come is a powerful use of this important feeling and emotion. When we use a gratitude practice to show faith in the possibilities available in every moment, it becomes a way to fully support your biggest dreams and visions as well as those of the world.
For most of us, a new gratitude practice must be followed at least once a day to get us into the "habit" of seeing what we are grateful for, acknowledging it to ourselves and others, and in some way showing our gratitude to that which is greater than us (be it God, the Universe, our global community, or whatever speaks to you). This builds gratitude awareness and action. The daily practice puts you into a state of grace, a state where your heart is open and ready to allow co-creation with the flow of creativity. It also generates happiness, wonder, and eagerness for the day to come, and along with it, the willingness to be an active participant in bringing into being the vision you hold for your life and for the greater world.
Follow these steps as you begin your practice. With time, personalize them as necessary. Play with your practice...see what works, what doesn't. Do more of what works, less of what doesn't.
- Begin
a gratitude journal.
Write as often as necessary to capture your authentic gratitude, whether that be daily, hourly, as the impulse strikes, or as often as your heart tells you to.
- Notice
what you are truly grateful for.
Sometimes we go through the motions of feeling gratitude for what we have been taught to be grateful for. There is no mistaking authentic gratitude. You can feel it in your heart. It stirs your soul. Authentic gratitude expands your heart, empowers you to reach out and acknowledge those on the other end of your gratitude, and puts you into the creative flow.
- Write,
call or visit those you are grateful for. It only takes a moment to
do this, but the effects are immeasurable for everyone involved.
- Give gratitude
forward.
Experience and express gratitude for what is yet to come. This is best done first thing in the morning. I have found it puts me in a state of eagerness to begin the day rather than thinking of all I have to do and everything that could go wrong.
Your VOJ may tell you this is easier said than done, but don't believe it. Your VOJ may very likely pipe up with all of its messages about the future and the unknown, questioning how you can possibly happy for what hasn't yet happened, but you don't have to let this voice run the show. Notice it, acknowledge it, then allow yourself to let wonder and curiosity enter in.
This is where our first creativity tool comes in, "Have Faith in your Creativity", meaning your ability to not only handle the unknown, but Thrive! in the unknown.
Your new day is filled with possibility. It has not yet been written. You get to co-create it with everything around you.
- Give thanks
to yourself for all that you are and all that you are becoming.
This is a very important part of a gratitude practice. It is also very healing to thank your VOJ for the ways in which it learned to cope with the unknown when you were very young. It believes it has your best interest at heart. While you no longer have to make your choices based on the VOJ's perspective of fear and control, it can quiet the VOJ to acknowledge it and express love for yourself.
- Hold a monthly gratitude circle with friends, family, or anyone else you feel called to be with. Notice where your experience is similar and where it is unique. How does sharing your practice with others change your experience?
I would love to hear from you about how your practice went. Remember, the point is to play-with your experience. As a result of your practice, notice how your experience changes. What is different? Journaling and reflecting helps make changes in your experience more apparent.
About
Julie:
Julie
Daley holds a design degree from Stanford University.
A Certified Professional Coach, Julie teaches Creativity in Business, the
famous Stanford Business course in many varieties.
"Julie is remarkable in her ability to uncover the inner layers
of creative forces."
~Nancy Mongan
Check
us out at:wildlycreativewomen.com
Powerful
Personal Coaching and Experiential
Courses
are
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